I had the most amazing dream last night.
I gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. She was big beautiful and healthy=) In my dream, I got to do all the things women get to do after their child is born....hold her while she cries, change her diaper, feed her...it was so nice. I want these things so bad! Hopefully, this is foreshadowing my future!
Anyways, I'm 18w 5d today. Feeling fat, but good for the most part. I think I feel baby a little everyday, but I'm not too sure. I mean its definitely not gas or anything like that. It's just that with Ben and Dom, I was positive I felt them too. After I lost them...both times I felt the same feeling after I had them. The nurse said it was common. I think they called them phantom kicks or something. I have doctors on Friday the 11th. Going to my specialist for my anatomy scan at 8:30 and my OB at 11:45 for a pap. I'm really hoping all is well with baby. I really want things to be different this time. I guess only time will tell.
I've put on a lot of weight. Pre pregnancy weight was 178. Now I'm about 191...already put on 13lbs. Oh well. After baby is born and I'm all healed, I plan on working out again like I was when I lost all the weight to start off with. But I'm not too worried about that right now. Ill worry about that after I have a healthy baby in my arms.
In other news, I'm pretty sure the transmission is going in the car I'm driving. What makes it worse is its not really my car either. My sister in law and I share a car. She can't afford to insure it ad would have had to sold it awhile back. I originally needed scar that didn't eat so much gas. The hurricane ruined my actual car. Flooded it out completely. So now I rely on my SIL's car to get me back and forth to work every day. I was planning on using my tax return to get myself a new car. Looks like I'm going to have to fix her car instead. Oh well. I'm looking for a job closer to my house that offers good health insurance. My cousin is a cop in the town I live in. She's looking out for a job in the boro for me. Would be a huge pay cut, but amazing benefits. I could always get a second job to make up he money difference. Plus all the money I would be saving on gas, tolls, and maintenance on my car. I think it would be worth it. Just can't leave until after I have the baby. Need the health insurance until then.
Speaking of insurance, I also need to desperately see a dentist. My teeth are killing me! They are basically on the verge of falling out. I just can't afford to go to the dentist to fix the problems when they are small. Now, all my teeth probably need root canals=( or be pulled. I don't know if I can even get a root canal or an extraction. I can't have the numbing medication because I'm pregnant and I'm worried about bleeding a lot because I'm on the blood thinners. I have to go though. The pain is too much...I can't handle it any more. I take Tylenol everyday now. Although I know Tylenol is deemed safe while pregnant, I still don't like taking it as often as I am. Plus, I've been reading a lot of stuff about dental problems relating to preterm labor, miscarriage, and stillbirths. I don't need any help in that department.
Ok, I think it's for me to get off my butt and do something. Here's a few belly pics:
This is me around 5 weeks or so...
This is me today...18w 5d. Do I look like I've just gained weight or am I showing a little? Before, I didn't want to be showing. I isn't want people to know. Now, I just hate feeling fat. I'd rather look pregnant lol. Oh well hopefully soon=)
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